Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
