i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
