i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
