try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Quick, to the slutcave!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
