you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
