The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
