6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
