dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
