White coat. Heels.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
