What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
