so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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