weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize