And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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