I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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