Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
