We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I want a musical about memes.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
