I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
