gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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