his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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