Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
