Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
