We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
