Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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