You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize