all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
