i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
