So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
