Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
