dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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