is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
