Apparently you make a good broom.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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