Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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