her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize