i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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