YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize