Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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