i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
