I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
