I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
