My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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