I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
