Having a random hookup so left but love u
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
