Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
