I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
