i just wanna soil my oats bro
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
