I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
