We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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