do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
