I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
