I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
