we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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