You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
