It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
