people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
