I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize