Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
