just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
