Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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