Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
